Lifetime training

I was just looking at photos from something called the Tough Man Competition. It was a lot of healthy looking men running through smoke and fire, climbing over, under and through things, swimming and sliding, basically it was very physical, and the guys did look pretty good doing it. Well, except for the series of photos where they were blowing mud and dirty water out of their noses. Yuck!! Who would think any of this was fun? This is basically the plot of every Southern prison film every made.

I’m sure it was all very exciting, and if I had been there I probably would have been caught up in the excitement and found someone to root for. I wouldn’t have so excited that I would want to jump in and give it a try though. For the most part this kind of thing is not for me unless you have….no, it is just plain not for me no matter what prize you have.

I’m waiting for a really good competition, something creative and useful, like creating a sculpture from common household clutter, constructing the best PTO Carnival flyer, or perhaps organizing the best birthday party for an older friend. These are things that serve a purpose, brighten everyone’s day, and at no time do you need to be hosed down. (Well, you might have to be at some point during the party, but we don’t need to go there right now.)

It makes me wonder what a Tough Woman Competition would consist of. There would be the balancing portion where you have to carry your purse, work bag, a child and three bags of groceries from the car to the house without dropping anything or making more than one trip. We’d have to include fitting a week’s wardrobe into a carry-on and still be able to close it. Then there would be hearing the best piece of neighborhood gossip ever and not telling anyone. But the most difficult one would have to be not saying anything when you see one of your children doing something truly stupid. Now that would be a competition I’ve been training for all my life!!!