Hail to me!

Last night at our neighborhood association meeting, I was elected to be the new vice president. So, move over Joe, Dick, Al, Dan, and Spiro!! Ok so maybe being the vice president of the neighborhood association is not on the same level as vice president of the United States.

The company isn’t exactly illustrious. In fact, I can’t even remember who Jimmy Carter’s VP was. If I were to take my queue from the list above I would have a lot of choice. Joe is a great guy and everybody’s buddy, but only opens his mouth to rearrange his feet. Dick has some definite possibilities. I could shoot someone with total impunity, and still carry on my power hungry crusades. Al is green, tech savvy, and has an Oscar. That part doesn’t sound too bad, but then I would have to run for president, win and then still never get to sit at the big table. Then there was Dan, what can you say? Even I can spell potato and know better then to take on Murphy Brown. As for Spiro, I’m just hoping our president doesn’t get caught in the act of anything too shady, I’d hate to have to back him up. Since I can’t remember who Carter’s vice president was, I’m assuming his job was to keep Billy Carter out of trouble and we all know how well that worked out.

So, I solemnly pledge to only put my foot in my mouth as few times as I can manage. I swear I will not shoot anyone while duck hunting in Texas and will keep my power mongering to a limit. I will continue to be green and make every effort to embrace technology; I can’t guarantee that technology will embrace me. Should I win an Oscar I promise to display it in the community center. If I get too dumb and embarrassing I give permission now to recall me, of send me hunting with Dick. And, thank God our president has no brothers needing babysitting.

Hail to me!!