The greatest gift

The past two weeks I was on vacation. My daughter and granddaughter came for a visit. It was wonderful!! My daughter is such a wonderful spirit and an incredible mother!!

My granddaughter is just too cute for words and one of my very favorite people in the whole world. In fact, she may be my very favorite person in the whole world. She will be two years old tomorrow and everything is new and interesting to her. It was amazing to see the world through her eyes. She felt totally accomplished when she discovered that she could pull a foot stool over to the wall, climb up and turn the lights on and off for herself.

She is going as Dorothy, from the Wizard of Oz, for Halloween, and he mom still hadn’t been able to find a pair of ruby slipper for the costume. I brought home a pair and while she was sitting next to me I slowly opened the box to expose the shoes. Her eyes got really big and a grin spread across her face as she pointed and, filled with awe, whispered, “shoes.” She then immediately pulled the shoes she was wearing off and starting trying to get the new shoes on.

We wear shoes a pair at a time, but she feels on such restriction. She will wear a shoe from two different pairs at the same time, or will wear two pairs at once, a pair of her own and a pair of her father’s. She refused to be limited by the restrictive norms of society and good taste. She wants it all!

She loves to runs! She’s not trying to get any place in particular or be somewhere on time. She just wants to run for the pleasure of it. To make it even better she likes to chase things or have things chase her. She’s all go and no stop.

She likes pulling vegetables in the garden, blowing on dandelions, loading the dishwasher, feeding the cat, and coloring. There is nothing that doesn’t fascinate her and that she doesn’t want to be a part of. She is a learning machine, eager to soak everything in. While here she learned the Itsy Bitsy Spider song, how to feed chickens, about jack-o-lanterns, how to say a dozen new words, and the names of everyone she came across.

She is the most complete person I have ever known. She lives fully in every moment, and finds joy in it all. What a gift grandchildren are!

Personal ads and black holes

The girls my friend Wendy works with have posted a personal ad for her. They gave a very good description of her and what she was looking for in someone she would consider dating: must have a long-term stable employment, must have his own place, and must be between 45 and 52. Wendy, like many women in their 40’s and 50’s looking to date, has a problem finding a man who can keep a job, or a place to live. I can’t tell you how many of my single friends have this problem. We’re so tired of men wanting us to take care of them. It’s not just cleaning and cooking anymore, it’s housing, paying bills and spending money! This is the major contributing factor us still being single. We’ve raised our kids, kicked out our deadbeat husbands. We’re ready for mature relationships with people that can and do take care of themselves. -- I hear all my sisters out there saying, “Amen! and Halleluiah!!”

Often people see a women in her 40’s, or older, who appear to have things well in hand and figures there must be something wrong, or she would be married. Guys figure she’s a real ball-buster or a lesbian, of course. If expecting a grown man to be able to take care of himself is being a ball-buster, then I guess we are.

As for being a lesbian, I’ve often thought how much easier that would be. I know a good number of lesbians, all with good jobs, long-term employment records, and their own places. Unfortunately I just can’t swing that way, I’m just too attracted to men, damn it!

Of course there are probably men out there wondering where are the women that aren’t looking for a man to take care of them. Women who can take care of themselves. Apparently we’re living in parallel universes, or on different plans of reality. And you know what that means……. we are not going to hook up until we all get sucked into a black hole. What are the odds it’ll be the right black hole?