OK, I knew Kansas would be a little different, but what do you say when Kansas gets weird? "You're not in Kansas anymore" just doesn't fit the occasion.
This morning on the radio I heard the D.J.s do a phone in contest to give away Extreme Midget Wrestling tickets. I mean really, not just midget wrestling, but EXTREME midget wrestling? I don't even want to think what that might involve. And what was the contest you might ask, well you had to guess the age of the Guinness Book of World Record's smallest person, who could walk. This was a man who recently passed away in China. He was 21, a chain smoker and had reached rock star status in his home country. Or, at least according to the D.J.s.
Following this contest, of which there was no shortage of phone-in participants, they went right into their headlines. The headline given the most attention was of a woman who found an unlit cigarette in the bottom of her son's Happy Meal. The D.J. went on to say that MacDonalds had offered the mother a settlement including free meals for the family and money. The mother has refused and is planning a suite against the food chain. Now apparently the D.J.s had a photo of the child, who happens to be a year old. They made a few comments about the mother in choosing to give her 1 year old son a Happy Meal, then went on to describe the child as a "tank". In fact, they spent quite a bit of time discussing the size of this little boy.
Just driving around here in the sticks of Kansas you will notice a lot of things with the word cowboy, spelled with a "K", Kowboy.
Manhattan, Kansas, where I happen to be is the home of Kansas State University, which by all accounts is an excellent school. Their school colors are purple and white, so everywhere you go there are people wearing purple, purple flags, purple dumpsters, purple everything. No ruby slippers, but I'm dead positive that at least one person here owns a pair of purple glitter shoes.
We visited Ft Riley the other day for a childrens' festival and after wards we went to the PX on post. Along the way we noticed a group of what we thought were horses in a field, but turned out to be mules. Apparently Army mules. Who knew they still existed?
While driving through the post, in its more wooded areas, you will see signs that say "Tank Crossing". These signs should be taken seriously. Drivers should slow down or stop and watch for tanks. Tanks always have the right of way. Well, duh!!
Oddly enough I haven't seen a single scarecrow, even though this is big farm country. The radio is filled with ads for crop insurance, farm equipment, and seeds.
So the next time you think about using the pharse, "You're not in Kansas anymore", you might consider if it really fits the situation, because it may more like Kansas then you imagine.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Vacation to Kansas
This is my last day of work before I leave for vacation, and never has a day gone by so slow! It is now 4:02, and I have decided to leave at 4:30, just in time to catch the bus home. Once I arrive at my car, I will then get in it and head back to Portland, and a party for a co-worker who is leaving us at the end of the month. Very sad for us, good for him. I also need to arrange a ride to the airport. Should have gotten that taken care of sooner. Just realized today that I didn’t have a ride. May need to schedule a taxi.
Tomorrow morning I will register for my boarding pass at exactly 10:10, which is 24 hours before I leave. I’ve set the alarm on my Blackberry. What did we do before we had all these little helpful devices? Then I will have a dentist appointment at 11:00, pick up my prescription in the pharmacy afterwards and head out to get a little shopping done. I have to get a presents for my grandchildren, buy travel sized (or at least something smaller than the super economy sized) shampoo and conditioner. Oh yeah, and I have to go purchase a new camera, because mine broke over the weekend. Ugggh!
In the afternoon I will do the last bit of laundry, plant some tomatoes, and have a good bye conversation with the cat and the chickens, my girls. Then I will do my packing, watch Idol, and get some sleep.
When I would fly to Hawaii, it was a five hour flight and all there was to see was water. It was like the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner, “Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink.” or something like that. I was on a plane so I obviously had access to a drink, of many kinds. But, because the flight was 5 hours long and I didn’t want to use the on-flight facilities, I kept my fluid intake to the bear minimum for the 24 hours before my flight landed on the island.
My flight to Kansas is much shorter, but will still be planning my fluid intake to avoid the on-flight facilities. Unlike the flight to Hawaii, there should be plenty to see outside my window, so I don’t have to stay up all night so I can sleep through the flight. Yeah!!
I will fly into the Kansas City airport. This will be my second time. The last time I was 13, and it was my first time to travel by plane. Because my parents didn’t what to have to change planes, they chose a flight that took to Des Moines, Iowa without a plane change, but it stopped at every airport between there and Houston. Kansas City happened to be one, and be the time we make it there, I was really hungry and starting to feel a bit sick. The attendant, for stewardess as we called them then, suggested I get off and grab something from the vending machine and come right back. We had plenty of time for that. So I did.
I found the vending machines just where she said they would be, quickly made my selections, and hot footed it back to the gate. The gate was closed and my blue Branaff was taxing away. I had a melt down. There was shriking and crying and all kinds of goings on. Finally the gate attendant settled me down and pointed to a blue Branaff at the next gate and said, “That’s your plane.” I said, “Oh” I felt like a complete idiot, which I was, and to make matter worse I couldn’t just hope on my plane and avoid all the stares. No, I had to wait for two other plane to clear the terminal before I could reboard my flight. It was the longest 5 minutes of my life. I’m hoping to comport myself better this time around.
Tomorrow morning I will register for my boarding pass at exactly 10:10, which is 24 hours before I leave. I’ve set the alarm on my Blackberry. What did we do before we had all these little helpful devices? Then I will have a dentist appointment at 11:00, pick up my prescription in the pharmacy afterwards and head out to get a little shopping done. I have to get a presents for my grandchildren, buy travel sized (or at least something smaller than the super economy sized) shampoo and conditioner. Oh yeah, and I have to go purchase a new camera, because mine broke over the weekend. Ugggh!
In the afternoon I will do the last bit of laundry, plant some tomatoes, and have a good bye conversation with the cat and the chickens, my girls. Then I will do my packing, watch Idol, and get some sleep.
When I would fly to Hawaii, it was a five hour flight and all there was to see was water. It was like the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner, “Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink.” or something like that. I was on a plane so I obviously had access to a drink, of many kinds. But, because the flight was 5 hours long and I didn’t want to use the on-flight facilities, I kept my fluid intake to the bear minimum for the 24 hours before my flight landed on the island.
My flight to Kansas is much shorter, but will still be planning my fluid intake to avoid the on-flight facilities. Unlike the flight to Hawaii, there should be plenty to see outside my window, so I don’t have to stay up all night so I can sleep through the flight. Yeah!!
I will fly into the Kansas City airport. This will be my second time. The last time I was 13, and it was my first time to travel by plane. Because my parents didn’t what to have to change planes, they chose a flight that took to Des Moines, Iowa without a plane change, but it stopped at every airport between there and Houston. Kansas City happened to be one, and be the time we make it there, I was really hungry and starting to feel a bit sick. The attendant, for stewardess as we called them then, suggested I get off and grab something from the vending machine and come right back. We had plenty of time for that. So I did.
I found the vending machines just where she said they would be, quickly made my selections, and hot footed it back to the gate. The gate was closed and my blue Branaff was taxing away. I had a melt down. There was shriking and crying and all kinds of goings on. Finally the gate attendant settled me down and pointed to a blue Branaff at the next gate and said, “That’s your plane.” I said, “Oh” I felt like a complete idiot, which I was, and to make matter worse I couldn’t just hope on my plane and avoid all the stares. No, I had to wait for two other plane to clear the terminal before I could reboard my flight. It was the longest 5 minutes of my life. I’m hoping to comport myself better this time around.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Weather, day lilies, and the police
Where is the sunny warm weather? I’m starving for decent temps and some nice warm rays I can bath my aching joints in! Not to mention, I have chickens I need to get in a chicken coop. Of course, I need to get the coop finished first, which means I need some decent weather! Wait, I’m dizzy. It feels like I’m running around on a hamster wheel.
I got a nice email for my friend (hi Wendy) to say she had left me some day lilies on my back porch. (Thanks!) I’m hoping I can get them into the ground this evening when I get home, and I’m really hoping I don’t to do it in a down pour! They should look lovely very soon when they bloom.
My cat is also panting to go outside. She has managed to get out a couple of times under the covered patio in back, but that is about as far as she is willing to venture in the rain. Of course if the rain is too hard, that just freaks her out and she has to run back in and hides under the bed. That’s my fearless kitty!
I am currently in a tug of war with my local police department over my volunteer status. After being approved for volunteer training, I have been suddenly denied with no explanation. To say the least I’m shocked and have asked for an explanation, and been told pretty much, -- tough noogies we don’t have to tell you anything. Since I have been background checked for employment and volunteer work in the past with police and schools, I’m quite taken aback by this development, and stunned by the hard line I’m coming up against. I was a crime prevention specialist for Portland for over 6 years for pity sake! I had a key that allowed me access to every building they occupied. I trained officers in various subjects involving community policing, and routinely sat in on mission and daily briefings. Now Vancouver has a problem accepting me, after I’d been approved?!!
My fear is that this has all arisen as the result of my recent resignation from the board of my neighborhood association, which I have not wanted to make a big deal over. One of the board members is a member of this program, and I think that person has, in some way thrown a wrench in this business. It is just a bit too coincidental that my sudden denial came just after my resignation. I can not let this matter go since there is a very good chance that I will need a background check from the police department in the future related to volunteer work or even future employment, and I can’t have an incident showing where I was denied. This means I may have to drag some issues out of the neighborhood closet I really didn’t want to have to drag out. I’m really hoping someone comes to their senses before this has to get really ugly, that would not do certain neighborhood board members, or the police department, any good.
More over, I really believe in the value and effectiveness of community policing. I have often wished that Vancouver had a program like this one. I have been very eager to recommend this program to people up to this point, but now I don’t think I can in good conscience do that anymore, and that really sucks! I will now have to warn people off, for fear they could end up in a similar situation. I hate this! I could just spit!!
I got a nice email for my friend (hi Wendy) to say she had left me some day lilies on my back porch. (Thanks!) I’m hoping I can get them into the ground this evening when I get home, and I’m really hoping I don’t to do it in a down pour! They should look lovely very soon when they bloom.
My cat is also panting to go outside. She has managed to get out a couple of times under the covered patio in back, but that is about as far as she is willing to venture in the rain. Of course if the rain is too hard, that just freaks her out and she has to run back in and hides under the bed. That’s my fearless kitty!
I am currently in a tug of war with my local police department over my volunteer status. After being approved for volunteer training, I have been suddenly denied with no explanation. To say the least I’m shocked and have asked for an explanation, and been told pretty much, -- tough noogies we don’t have to tell you anything. Since I have been background checked for employment and volunteer work in the past with police and schools, I’m quite taken aback by this development, and stunned by the hard line I’m coming up against. I was a crime prevention specialist for Portland for over 6 years for pity sake! I had a key that allowed me access to every building they occupied. I trained officers in various subjects involving community policing, and routinely sat in on mission and daily briefings. Now Vancouver has a problem accepting me, after I’d been approved?!!
My fear is that this has all arisen as the result of my recent resignation from the board of my neighborhood association, which I have not wanted to make a big deal over. One of the board members is a member of this program, and I think that person has, in some way thrown a wrench in this business. It is just a bit too coincidental that my sudden denial came just after my resignation. I can not let this matter go since there is a very good chance that I will need a background check from the police department in the future related to volunteer work or even future employment, and I can’t have an incident showing where I was denied. This means I may have to drag some issues out of the neighborhood closet I really didn’t want to have to drag out. I’m really hoping someone comes to their senses before this has to get really ugly, that would not do certain neighborhood board members, or the police department, any good.
More over, I really believe in the value and effectiveness of community policing. I have often wished that Vancouver had a program like this one. I have been very eager to recommend this program to people up to this point, but now I don’t think I can in good conscience do that anymore, and that really sucks! I will now have to warn people off, for fear they could end up in a similar situation. I hate this! I could just spit!!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Ok, I’m sure everyone is like this, but maybe not. There are things in weird places all over my house. Most of them I’m sure I have left there, others I’m not sure who left them where they are. For instance there is a glass desk top leaning against the wall in my bedroom. I’m sure I put it there thinking it was temporary when I dismantal it for the new desk. I'm sure I meant to move it out to the garage, the rest of the desk is out there. It’s still in my room and has been for at least a year. It has become invisible to me. I’m hoping now that I’ve embarrassed myself by telling all you this, I will finally remember to get it moved. Maybe I even get it, and all the rest of the odd stuff I have into the neighborhood cleanup this year, or onto Craig's List.
Other items end up in odd places for really odd reasons. Like the cracker box sitting on the vanity in my bathroom. – I should point out that my bathroom is so small that calling the counter a vanity, or a counter for that matter, is being really generous – It got there because I was using it to cover the top of a bucket while carrying my young hens. I was putting them in the bathtub. – I know weird! But, it was raining outside and I had to clean the cage. Where else could I put them? – I put the box there while unloading the chickens and forgot it. It’s been there for two days now.
I’m a little concerned that I will continue to forget it, and then everyone coming into my house and going to the bathroom will think I eat crackers in there. How embarressing would that be?
By the way, who is Craig, and how did he get a list? I'm just wondering.
Other items end up in odd places for really odd reasons. Like the cracker box sitting on the vanity in my bathroom. – I should point out that my bathroom is so small that calling the counter a vanity, or a counter for that matter, is being really generous – It got there because I was using it to cover the top of a bucket while carrying my young hens. I was putting them in the bathtub. – I know weird! But, it was raining outside and I had to clean the cage. Where else could I put them? – I put the box there while unloading the chickens and forgot it. It’s been there for two days now.
I’m a little concerned that I will continue to forget it, and then everyone coming into my house and going to the bathroom will think I eat crackers in there. How embarressing would that be?
By the way, who is Craig, and how did he get a list? I'm just wondering.
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