My gal pals and I have developed some verbal shorthand over the years, as close friends will do in time. One of our more obscure terms is “reading the phone book.” Several years ago we were all in the car together listening to the radio and talking, of course. We were talking about what type of guy really gets our imagination going. For Wendy, it’s a cowboy in Wranglers and boots. Debbi likes a pretty guy all gussied up. Danna and I like big football players. No skinny guys with chests waxed for us. Debbi and Wendy like the hairless look. And of course, we’d all like a guy we can communicate with, who will never make us insane, and will be perfect. These are our fantasy men. Just like fantasy women they don’t really exist, they’re just nice to dream about.
All of a sudden Toby Keith comes on the radio and I have to admit I could look at him all day, and listen to him. I make the statement that he wouldn’t have to talk to me, he could just read the phone book in bed. We have a great laugh and from then on, “reading the phone book” = fantasy sex. When we play Taboo, we award an extra point if you can win with that phrase as a clue.
Debbi had her 40th birthday recently, or as she refers to it her 30-10 birthday. We, her closes and dearest friends, did the expected old hag gifts, but we saved a special gift for her celebration with just us, ….a phone book. Wendy, Danna and I went through and marked suggestive names and wrote in comments across the page. We then marked the page with a sticker tab. We marked over a hundred pages and laughed ourselves silly doing it. When we gave it to Debbi she loved it, and started going through the book reading off the names and comments. At one point I was worried she would stop breathing she was laughing so hard.
We teased her a lot about sharing it with her steady guy. Turns out he’s not such a big fan of the phone book gift. Go figure!
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