Have you ever noticed that the things in life that annoy you the most are the most difficult to get rid of? For instance I have a pair of underwear I bought about three years ago. This in itself is a miracle since underwear usually lasts just a few months. Of course this indestructible piece of lingerie (maybe lingerie us a strong term for cotton briefs, but hey) has a really annoying feature, a tag placed in such a way that it feels like its biting you. So basically this underwear will last forever but I’ll suffer the whole time I wear it. Doesn’t that sound like a modern day Greek tragedy?
My second ex-husband came with three things that were really scary, and I’m not sure it they were scary for themselves or his insistence that they were great: a crocheted armadillo sucking on a long necked Lone Star bottle, a sunset painting on orange velvet, and a large rug of dogs playing poker. I swear I didn’t know he owned these things before we were married. I mean really, how do you work stuff like into a decorating plan?
Being a woman of some wit and creativity I decided to store them away in a box with his collection of 8-track tapes. No harm no foul, right? Oh contraire! Apparently the newly acquired significant other felt strongly that they should be displayed, prominently. I’m talking in the living room! He was highly offended when I hung the sunset behind a door.
As I said I was not without wit and creativity. Do you know how many times we had to move before I managed to lose all of these things? I thought about losing them all at once but thought he would catch on. The first to go were the dogs, then the velvet, and finally the armadillo. I am a Texan after all, and as tacky as the armadillo was I did feel a bit of a traitor when it went.
Where there’s a will there’s a way!
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