Commuting and virgin sacrifices

Getting to work this week has been a bit of an odyssey.

Yesterday the bus had an extended nervous break down. It started just after we left the transit center and the warning beeper started going off. It continued off and on all the way to downtown. As if that wasn’t annoying enough the bus periodically stalled out for no apparent reason and then started again for no apparent reason. So in a stop and go, beeping progression we eventually made it downtown and literally coasted into my stop, where all the lights on the bus went out. I was happy to get off the possessed bus. It was too much like all the transportation issues we faced in my home growing up. We always traveled on a wing and a prayer. Mostly praying the car would start, that the car would get to our destination, and that it would start again and get us home. We were the family that prayed together everyday, several times depending on the schedule.

Today there were a thousand little delays all along the way, from making the bed twice, forgetting to rinse the conditioner out of my hair, having to put out the garbage, and taking a detour around highway construction. It just seemed that every step I took I had to stop and make a lap around the spot! It was a relief to finally make it to my desk. How many times do you get to say that and mean it?

Oh yeah and it was raining, both days!! Enough already, where’s the sun? Who pissed Spring off? I’m ready to sacrifice a virgin or something; that is if we could find one.

What’s so great about a virgin? I was one once, and there was certainly nothing magical or special about it. For Pete sakes, virgins have to watch out that they aren’t handed over to all sorts of monsters and wacked-out terrorists. Now if we’re really serious about sacrificing something young and pretty, I say lets throw all those teens and twenty-somethings into the sacrificial pool that talk too loud on their cell phones in public, drive too fast, and are generally doing annoying things to get noticed. I say lets really notice them and put them out there. I could really support that policy. They would drive the terrorists to surrender just to get a break.

I could snatch up a few on my way home. Maybe we could institute a bounty program?