When will home be "home"?

You know I moved to the Pacific Northwest, Portland area, from Houston almost 21 years. That’s a long time! I’ve attended college here, raised my children here, bought two homes, and made incredible friends here. So, why do I still refer to Texas as “home”?

I constantly find myself saying things like, “Back home, we would ….” Do other people who have moved her from other places find themselves making the same kind of statements? Will we ever completely move our hearts as far as we have moved our bodies?

Why isn’t here “home”? What is it my mental make up that keeps me rooted in Texas? Is it me or is it Texas? Is it the memories of youth warring with the adult ones? I just don’t know the answer to these questions, but for some strange reason, even though I’ve lived and worked in four states other than Texas, that is were my mind takes me when it thinks “home”. There is still a part of me that still longs for Texas, but when I go for a visit I always come back to the Pacific Northwest happy that I live here instead of there.

There are many things I miss about Texas, and probably just as many things I’m glad to be separated from, like my two ex-husbands. That’s right I’m just like George Strait, all my exes like in Texas, but I don’t feel like I’m stuck here. I really miss the family I still have there. I also miss the indefinable quality of that pervades life there. The pride in your state, a pride that has the whole state covered in state outlines, and state flags. The sense that if you’re in Texas there’s just no other place anyone would want to be.

I also miss the particular flavor of Texas hospitality. People here hospitable, but Texas has different feel to it’s. I’m every place does, but it’s that Texas flavor I miss.

Although there are things about Texas that horrify me now when I return for visits, like everyone’s complete lack of interest in recycling, the constant boasting about Texas, and cultural divisions that aren’t even questions. I realize that I probably have a good portion of all those traits, but I guess I elect not to see them in myself. Funny how that works.

So, I’m going to try to feel more like a Northwesterner, and less like a Texan in the new year. I’m not sure how successful I will be. I guess I’d better get out and visit the nearest REI and practice.